April 6, 2017
Prepping coffee with my head filled with thoughts and fears surrounding my impending last meal for 48 hours, last day to pick up anything for 6 weeks including my babies, last pre-surgery doctor’s appointment, the robotic arms that will be inside me cutting stuff off my organs, hoping that I’ll eventually find freedom from this pain, and with equal weight and dedication, truly which Housewife IS my favorite. I just heard a bird chirp and choose this as a good sign. Also Carol. ✌🏼✌🏽✌🏿
Home is where I want to be.
Finding the funny.
Going to the pool is one of the most nostalgic summer childhood memories I have. From the colorful printed towels to the smell of sunscreen and chlorine, it brings back so many fun memories at the pool with my sister @dykhuis wearing neon patterned bathing suits. We used to bring lunches packed by my mom but then could get chocolate eclairs or those frog ice cream pops or the red, white, and blue rocket popsicles at the “Snack Bar” and when we’d run into the off-duty lifeguards we thought they wielded much power. We were absolutely exhausted and a little sunburned by the end of the day when we got into the steaming hot car with our “towels on the seats” and we’d burn our hands putting on the metal seatbelts and it was all so 90s and pretty wonderful.
HI. That’s all. ❤️ Okay, okay, fine. Also I’m wearing makeup and feel like a healthy human right now and that feels so good so I took a photograph of the moment and I just look like me and that feels so good too so I’m sharing it. Me with makeup and good lighting but still me and I like her.
The world is on fire and our hearts are continuously breaking. We resist the dumpster fire daily and it wears on us, on our bodies, on our anxieties, on our health. In order to keep working hard at creating a more loving, compassionate place out of this unrecognizable country, we give some of that love back to ourselves. We practice radical self care. We truly have to in order to keep going. I found my most effective, reliable, and comforting self care practice in the @emayacircle. I’m currently doing a 40-day program of daily yoga and meditation and workshops that I do at the pace I want, from the comfort of my own home. It is helping me with my own personal grief and healing so much more than I thought possible. It’s giving me back parts of myself and more so I can be capable to continue giving to myself, and the rest of the world. Resist, self care, rinse, repeat. 🙏🏼
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